End in Sight

Updates : I have been in the hospital for over a month, I came in at 26 weeks pregnant and the initial goal was to get me to at least 32weeks; right now I'm 31 weeks. Once I reach 32 weeks we will take it a day a time, but I am safe to deliver. The furtherest I will get is 35 weeks any longer and new risks and complications could occur. I can't believe I've been in this long! In order to get me this far my doctor has had to drain the excess amniotic fluid from Hannah 6 times totaling 8100ml! (That's almost 20lbs of fluid.) To give you an idea in a normal pregnancy a woman will have any where from 500-1500ml of fluid, 1500ml is the amount my doctor takes out each time he drains (which is called an amnio reduction). I'm still hooked up to Iv's pumping in very small doses of magnesium sulfate to keep active labor contractions at bay and I'm still sporting a toco which is a contraction monitor that wraps around your belly. It's going to be amazing to get up one day and not be completely tangled in cords. I have not been as good with pictures this pregnancy so I had my husband take some of me last night.

(Notice I am not in a hospital gown; my husband created shirts for me that have snaps down the shoulders so I can slip them on even with my Iv! He is my amazing love.)

My belly is so big I am amazed it has stretched so far! My doctor tells me it could stretch more, I don't know how that's possible. It's just another testimony to God's perfect design, every pregnancy is.

I remember taking a pregnancy test at the beginning of this year and being so elated. At that time my biggest prayer was to go full term (having suffered a miscarriage months earlier). I had full confidence that the little one growing inside would make it. In those beginning weeks I didn't have proof, I couldn't see what was going on I had to place my trust in the Lord and lean upon the truths he had given me in his word. Now I am at the point of delivery (though I know it's still considered early) I need his truth more than ever. 

Most moms carrying a normal pregnancy have the temptation of worrying in the first trimester. We don't know what's going on. The baby is too small to feel and our bodies are under going huge changes. Around the second trimester we start to feel those little flutters signs of the life growing inside and it seems like all is right with the world. Each week brings us one step closer to our due dates and it's exciting. With this pregnancy the end is coming and I am excited, I'm ready to go home, but I am also nervous what will this end bring? 

I have been praying for my little Hannah's health since her diagnosis. With each ultrasound (I get them now about twice a week) I see her getting bigger, but I also see no change. So I keep trusting, I keep praying. It is the hardest thing to do when everything in the natural says there's no chance of a normal life or any life at all. It's hard to hear the doctors talk about Tessa and what they will do for her and not Hannah. It's hard when I talk about bring home my babies to the nurses who know medically speaking only one will come home. The Bible is filled with accounts of impossible situations where God stepped in. It's filled with promises for life. I cling those, knowing all the while that God is always good and he does not change. And no matter the outcome in this he will be glorified. 

"For thou hast possessed my reins thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works and that my soul knoweth right well."

~Psalm 139: 13-14